63 funny dog quotes to make you smile

Dog owners, pet parents and pet sitters in our community come from all walks of life, but they all have one thing in common: a love of dogs. What could be better than combining that love with a desire to help others learn one or two things about our four-legged friends? 

Our team has scoured the internet for funny quotes about dogs to make pet parents and sitters smile about our favourite man's best friend. Read on to explore the thoughts and quotes of some of the top dog lovers in the world funny quotes of dogs. And if you nefunny dog jokesed even more lines to make you giggle, check out these funny dog jokes.

1. “A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.” — Robert Benchley

2. “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” — Roger Caras 

3. “If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” — Unknown

4. “I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!” — Jonah Goldberg

5. “A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” — Helen Thomson

6. “Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.” – Franklin P. Jones

7. “If our dog doesn’t like you, we probably won’t either.” — Unknown

8. “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.” — Phil Pastoret

9. “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.” — Sue Murphy

10. “Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mailman is not to be trusted.” — Sian Ford

Funny dog quotes for social media captions

Looking for a funny dog quote or two? Here's 10.

1. “The road to my heart is filled with paw prints.” — Unknown

2. “If there are no dogs in heaven, I don't want to go.” —Unknown

3. “Love is a wet nose and a wagging tail.” — Unknown

4. “Anything is paws-ible with a dog by your side.” — Unknown

5. “Life would be ruff without you.” — Unknown

6. “The more men I meet, the more I love my dog.” —Unknown

7. “Not all dogs are good boys. Some are good girls!” — Unknown

8. “All dogs are good — some are just a little ruff around the edges.” — Unknown

9. “First he stole my heart, then he stole my bed.” — Unknown

10. “I'm all about that pug life.” — Unknown

11. “Stop hounding me!” – Unknown

Dog quotes to melt your heart

Sometimes all we need is a good dog quote to make us feel better and remind us why we love dogs so much. Here are some of our favourite funny pet quotes! Remember to read our list of the UK’s top dog-inspired quotes.

1. "Everything I know, I learned from dogs." — Nora Roberts

2. "Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen." — Orhan Pamuk

3. "Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all." — John Grogan

4. "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." — Josh Billings

5. "Happiness is a warm puppy." — Charles M. Schulz

6. "No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich." — Louis Sabin

7. "Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really." — Agnes Sligh Turnbull

8. "Be the person your dog thinks you are." — C.J. Frick

9. "The dog is a gentleman; I am not." — Mark Twain

10. “You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him.” – W. Bruce Cameron

11. “Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day.” – John Grogan

12. "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." — Aldous Huxley

13. "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." — Ben Williams

14. "I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl." — Unknown

15. "Dogs never bite me. Just humans." — Marilyn Monroe

16. "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." — James Thurber

17. "I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive." — Gilda Radner

18. "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." — Andrew A. Rooney

19. "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." — Mary Bly

20. "My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am." — Unknown

21. "I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it." — Abraham Lincoln

Cute dog quotes for pictures

These are some of the most popular dog quotes out there. They're perfect for your next Instagram caption or Facebook post! Along with this list of the funniest dog quotes, be sure to check out our list of top dog jokes to make you laugh.

1. "Whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend never owned a dog." — Unknown

2. "Dogs leave paw prints on our hearts." — Unknown

3. "Pawsibility: It's what dogs do best." — Unknown

4. "My fashion philosophy is if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty." — Elayne Boosler

5. "There is no love truer than the love for a dog." — Michael J. Fox

6. "A house is not a home without a dog." — Unknown

7. "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man." — Mark Twain

8. “The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” — Johnny Depp

9. “Every time you look into your dog's eyes, you see an apology.” — Unknown

10. "In a perfect world, everyone would have a dog, and they would all be Labradors." — Unknown

11. “If you don’t own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.” – Roger A. Caras

12. "Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them is a dog, the other one's probably getting walked." — Unknown

13. “In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” — Derek Bruce

14. “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” — Ann Landers

15. “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.” — John Steinbeck

16. “You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” — Harry Truman

Best dog quotes with unknown author

Sometimes you don't need to know who said something to appreciate the sentiment. Along with our funny dog quotes, here are some of the best dog quotes that don't have an unknown author.

1. “To err is human — to forgive, canine.” — Unknown

2. “A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” — Unknown

3. “No home decor is complete without dog hair.” — Unknown

4. “This home is filled with love and dog hair.” — Unknown

5. “Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.” — Unknown

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person". This dog quote may be a little too harsh on humans now that we think about it, but there's no denying dogs are one of our best friends. These fun dog quotes are proof!

Why find a pet sitter?

Are you planning to take a trip and wondering whether to find a pet sitter to take care of your dog while you're away? TrustedHousesitters' pet-loving community is here to help. Find out why pet sitters are best for your pooch!